So I don't know what it is about Sundays that make me rethink my entire life. Seriously, happens every Sunday. Maybe a combination of too much drinking, depression of having the workweek start again, running into your ex and his beautiful new wife, who knows. But it feels like every week I am waiting for something BIG to happen.
I know all bullshit about not "waiting" for things to happen, but "making" them happen on your own. Fuck that. I have been attempting to "make" things happen for 30 years. But then, you also here, "Don't try to control things...they will unfold as they are supposed to." So which is it?? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
And while my life is pretty full and I do have tons to be thankful for, I can't help but always yearn for more. More money, my DREAM job, a date with a guy who actually WANTS to spend time with me other than at 2 a.m. (and this is a whole other post for another day, my friends), more clothes, loss of 10 pounds (well, if we're really wishing, how about 20), a vacation.
Not to sound superficial or greedy or spoiled, but wtf. I think I'm entitled to some of this, right? We all are!
Jenny knows this...at least once a month I text her "let's move!" although I know it's not possible right now. I know, I know...you can't run from your problems. And I wouldn't even say that I have problems. But just an urge for MORE. Do you know what I'm saying? Am I the only chick who feels this way? I know I should be satisfied with what I have and who I am, but I am not wired that way. I feel like I am never satisfied, there's always more to do, be and have.
Deep breath! For now, I suppose I'll try to be satisfied sitting on the couch in my jammies, taking a vaca in my head, writing my article for the Detroit Fashion Pages. Maybe later I'll go get a new tattoo. Or a pizza. I'll work on that 20 lbs starting tomorrow.
The Little Cat That Could
5 weeks ago