Monday, December 21, 2009
In this world there are GIVERS and there are TAKERS
There are so many topics I could blog about, which makes me realize that I really do need to post more frequently, but today I am particularly stuck on the topic of givers and takers. I’ve realized over the past five years that I have an extremely high amount of “takers” in my life but it is really starting to weigh on me more and more it seems. Or maybe my tolerance for the takers is just growing extremely thin. Either way, something (or someone) has to give! (Clever, right?!) ;-)
I want to first start out by saying I’m not the type of person that gives to receive, not at all. I actually enjoy giving but there comes a point where people just flat out take advantage of you and they don’t seem to realize (or maybe they just don’t care) that yes, I’m helping them, they need my assistance but so do many other people and while I admit this is ultimately my own fault, it still gets VERY old!
I found myself faced with an extremely rare situation this past weekend – NOTHING, I had NOTHING planned all weekend! I think it’s the first time this entire year. I had blocked the weekend off due to previous discussions with my mom that we might be celebrating Christmas with my brother and nephew but as of Friday they decided to move it to next weekend, AWESOME!! I got out of work Friday with this amazing feeling of freedom. I made my TO DO list and was totally looking forward to some rest and relaxation. I started my Christmas shopping after work Friday night and as soon as I got home I realized I had SO many things to accomplish on the TO DO list and after taking a closer look realized that very few had anything to do with things that I actually needed to work on for myself!
I don’t need to get into the specifics of each project that each friend or family member asked for my assistance on but by Saturday night I was BEYOND pissed off about it all. I mean why can’t they do anything on their own? Why is it MY problem? I sometimes think, because I don’t have a husband/boyfriend or children, people view me as the person who must have all the time in the world when actually, it’s just the opposite. I’d put money down that my life is twice as busy as any of my friends’ lives that have families to take care of. I think they’ve all just grown so dependent on me being the one to take care of all of their little projects that they don’t even think twice about it anymore. It’s really, REALLY frustrating. I realize this is a HUGE area that I need to work on and I have been doing my best to say NO and have started with invitations/commitments i.e, going out, parties, etc. But when it comes to helping someone I can’t seem to say that word and I really do need to start. I hardly sleep as it is and I was up until 3:30 last night working on something for my friend’s son. It was just ridiculous. She has no idea how time consuming and frustrating the project was/is (since I’m still not done it would be a present tense situation I suppose).
I don’t really want every single post of mine to be all out bitching and moaning but I really do feel the need to get these things off my chest and as far as my last blog, I know I walked away feeling like I could leave that issue in the past. I’m all about being honest and telling people how I really feel or what I’m thinking but the need or desire to help them outweighs all of the words I really want to say when I am approached with a project. For example:
Taker: Do you think you could help me with ***XYZ***, I don’t really know how or what to do so if you could just figure it all out, make it fabulous, and then get it back to me so I can take all the credit, that would be great. Oh, and I need it in two days, awesome-thanks!
Giver a/k/a ME: Ummm hells no!! Have you ever heard of Google? If you don’t know how to do something, type it into Google and 95% of the time it will give you step-by-step instructions and guide you through the process. I mean has it ever occurred to you that I might have a life of my own? You know, my OWN obligations and/or projects to work on? Figure it out! For the love of Pete I don’t know what to do with "XYZ" to make this person love it, they aren't MY person! AND, if I remember right, when you asked me what to buy for said person, I strongly urged you to go with the opposite model because it was easier to work with…but nooooo….you wanted to save $10 and in doing that, this f#$king project will now take me two or three DAYS! Seriously? Go F#$K yourself. I have a mountain of projects of my own to work on. Oh and Merry f#$king Christmas!!!
Yeah, that’s what I wish I would have said, instead I it was more along the lines of: Oh, ok, yeah drop it off, I can take care of it. Oh, you need it in two days? Sure, I can TOTALLY swing that…I just won’t sleep until I’m done. I can always crash and catch up next weekend…..
WTF?? UGH!!! I hate myself so much sometimes. It’s like get a brain. When will I ever learn? Apparently never!
So that’s the gist of my rant today. I’d love to vent some more and trust me, I could go on and on ….and on….and on…BUT, I must get back to this gem of an MP3 player and the fun little project that still lies ahead and hopefully I can get around to working on some of MY projects in the next three days.
On a good note: I was finally able to start Christmas shopping on Friday and I actually finished yesterday even! (Didn’t have a whole lot of $$ to work with but it was still fun). Now I get to finish my dad’s shopping for him….
Dad: Hey, could you pick up this candle and a Christmas ornament and something else you think your mom would like and then I’ll just reimburse you when I see you Tuesday?
Daughter a/k/a ME: (realizing he just told me I basically have ONE day to do this) Sure, I would LOVE to!!!
Merry Christmas…..3 days to go!!! We WILL survive! :-)